When I was young, every year we’d take a trip to…somewhere…where we’d meet Eggbert, a real live talking egg. I might not actually remember any of this, but as I can recall, Eggbert was a 5 foot tall robot egg who looked vaguely like Mr. Potato Head. He guarded the door to a series of disturbing robot displays – little plastic gnomes and their impish companions who sang songs and looked otherwise creepy.
Anyway, either Eggbert was actually a sentient egg, or they had a camera set up where some guy who read your name from your name tag and make Eggbert greet you. “Why hello, Eric. I’m a 5 foot talking egg with disturbing facial features, not unlike the terrifying Howard the Duck, aren’t you thrilled that I’m talking to you?” Of course not, you’re 4 years old and you’re being accosted by an enormous egg who you’re afraid is going to kidnap and scramble you as retribution for thousands of years of subjection at the hands of your race. You grab your parent’s leg, cry, or stand there with a stunned look on your face. But you’re typically not happy to see him.
I decided last night, literally 3 minutes before I went to sleep, that if I ever had a kid, I was going to take him there and give him a name that obviously is not his. I want to see that grotesque monster squirm when he sees a pasty little white boy with the name Jamal on his shirt. Or if it’s a girl, LaToya. “Why hello…Latoya…are you ready to see rickety plastic lawn ornaments sing about sailing amongst blue cardboard waves?” And maybe she’ll cry, but whatever the case, she’ll find Eggbert utterly ridiculous. I will shutter with suppressed laughter, and glory in the defeat of my childhood nemesis.
Eggbert was at Devitt’s (garden supply / Xmas tree place) in New Windsor. I’m fairly certain he’s either not there anymore, or he broke and they replaced him with a “new” Eggbert (and entirely newfangled Xmas Village tour thing) that did not go over very well with the nostalgic public.
http://archive.recordonline.com/archive/2000/04/27/rneggber.htm
Don’t be a gnome hater. You never know when they are going to revolt and attack you.
That Eggbert display sounds very creepy. I just don’t understand why a store would chose to have that as a display. In my immaturity, I would probably put “bastard” or something on my kid’s nametag, so Eggbert would have to say, “Why hello little bastard!”
I have to say, I get a hit or two on Eggbert at least weekly. I am google’s number one source on Eggbert from Devitts.
Hey, I remember Eggbert as well…yes he was creepy, and yes the stench of the farm animals was overwhelming. But, in some sort of magical twist, he (it…her?) is still an endearing part of my memory. Sadly, there is no more singing gnomes or whatever they were SUPPOSED to be. He resides at the New Windsor Town Hall I THINK, every Christmas. Pretty sure he was also set on fire at one point.
Eggbert is back at Devitts in New Windsor!!