I’ve subconsciously known this for a while, God knows I’ve been told often enough, but this morning I realized that AT&T and Singular can join together to deliver the world that matters the most: mine! As I drove through the parking lot at work, I spent 15 seconds or so thinking about this. My world means the most? More than yours? How can this be true? Clearly, my world must mean the most to me. But yet you deliver it, how nice of you. What did I have prior to this speedy delivery? Someone else’s world on loan?
That must be an exciting day, when your brand new customized world is beamed in via satellite. Please Mr. AT&T, can you and Mr. Singular please send me a world that includes fulfillment? I thirst for a spiritual reawakening and I think a camera phone is just what the doctor ordered. I’d love to have a family some day, sooner than later (before I run out of Q-Tips preferably), and if integrated business solutions can bring me a wife and kids, then I’m ready to integrate. As we know, my world is of utmost importance because it’s all about me, me baby, me; I want it all, and I want it imMEdiately.
It must be hard to work for AT&T and/or Singular; always working on other people’s worlds, never building your own. I bet that’s the most popular retirement party gift for those who tirelessly work to deliver the worlds of others: a brand new world, tailor made for YOU, so that you can focus on the only world that really matters prior to death – yours. Really, the more I think about it, the more I am grateful for those who work tirelessly and thanklessly for the advancement of all things Eric Furst. I will urge congress to repeal that nasty anti-trust thing that decimated our personal savior AT&T in the early 80s. Just imagine how spectacular my world could be if we brought all the Baby Bells back into the service of me. My world would never be the same.
Addendum
In other news, Doomsday Bastardi believes that there is a chance for a repeat of the bizarre “landcane” phenomenon from a few years ago. I had no idea this happened – good thing David Lee Roth categorized it for posterity’s sake.
Words 
Aww… it’s adorable that you’re so immune to the entire advertising, marketing, and branding world that you didn’t know Cingular was spelled with a C.
I got it confused with Singulair, the ass-mar medication.