I am an ideologue, in that I imperialistically promote my ideas to the world around me. I fearlessly support Battlestar Galactica and 24. I contend for garlic and soy sauce, I have championed flavor ice as an all season treat, and I proclaim orange juice mixed with other juices to the masses. When I think about it, I feel strongly about a very many things, and an unapologetic in communicating said truths to anyone within earshot.
During the sermon today, something clicked. I am supposed to have that same ardor for Christ. When a conversation about the best shows on television comes up, I’ll endure ridicule to pronounce BSG as the best drama, or Deep Space Nine as the best Star Trek – I will bereave myself of my dignity for things like that. But I will not joyfully support my purported worldview with the same unsolicited ferocity. That’s not to say that I won’t take the field if pressed. That’s not even to say that I won’t argue for my beliefs whenever I see the need. But there’s a difference. It is as the pastor said, a duty and not a joy. Ironically, I will sing the praises of my church, SPEP, to Christians like it’s the greatest thing since sliced bread. But I won’t do the same for my faith.
And that’s because I do not cherish it as though it is valuable. I consider it as a burden and don’t rejoice in it as a gift. I see people around me and think, “well, one day they’ll wish they had this, but I can totally see why they wouldn’t want it now.” I can, without reservation, offer pearls of wisdom about flavor ice, but faith, that’s another story.
A burden? :-(
Perhaps it’s not the exact word. I am both blessed and unfortunate that it isn’t a choice anymore – I am what I am. It is what it is. When I am desensitized to whate’er my calling might be, it is a destinationless package for me to cart around in search of an indecipherable delivery address. I take hope in the fact that I can’t discard said parcel. One day I will know what to do with it. Or, I’ll lug it around aimlessly forever.
It may or may not be the luggage that Christian lugs around in our Bible Study book, Pilgrim’s Progress.
By the way, I’ve just run the gauntlet of Isaiah and Jeremiah. I’m now amongst Ezekiel. You tell me those guys didn’t have a burden. Sure, not quite the same, in that theirs was forcibly and perceptibly imposed upon them, but you can’t read those books and see their lives as sunbeams and unicorns.
But they were also living without the hope of Christ…