Viewer Discretion Is Advised

With Bible Study on hold today due to vaguely inclement weather, I’m home for 24. It’s been a while since I’ve written something – so here’s what happens between 12 PM and 1 PM.

12:06 PM – Squirrely guy’s wife wants to fool around after work. But there is no “after work” for the FBI in 24. In our government, however, the entirety of our national security team gets the day off the day before inauguration.

12:14 PM – Wouldn’t you know it, Jack knows how to make nerve gas out of kitchen cleaning fluid.

12:15 PM – The attorney general’s office can get to the FBI in six minutes, but no law enforcement can’t get to the compound in 20 minutes. Renee Walker can. The Prime Minister’s wife is a wuss. Damn you! Damn you! Sengala hates you!

12:18 PM – Watch out for Renee Walker, she’s feisty, and she has a handgun. Whoops, not anymore.

12:26 PM – I wish the first-lady-man would go away.

12:30 PM – Squirrely FBI dork is boning the man-faced blond. Awesome. Just when I was thinking it was chivalrous for him to save his wife’s plane.

12:31 PM – Head of the FBI has a crush on Agent Walker. Really? Wow. Shocker.

12:38 PM – This is perhaps the least plausible plot 24 has ever trotted out before me. So, a 3rd world African nation is blackmailing the United States. Oh wait, new comment.

12:40 PM – Nevermind, standard issue plot twist.

12:45 PM – It’s a commercial. I can’t spell the world “privilege” to save my life.

12:47 PM – Still on commercial. FYI, all of the links in the best of category are unbroken, which is good because the old site is re-routed here already. The old content is actually at for some unknown reason.

12:53 PM – What are the chances Jack and Agent Walker make out by the end of the day? And the other guy from the FBI finds out. Will that be the first time Jack has ever hooked up with someone he shot in the neck?

12:57 PM – I’m sure he’s made babies with someone he’s shot in the neck – but shot in the neck AND buried alive? Now, Captain Kirk could have done it.

Did you know that FOX in Baltimore is called WBFF? Like Best Friends Forever?

Advertisement

Read Full Post »

Jack Bauer Hearts Orphans

Who, in the world of nefarious organizations, has not tortured Jack Bauer or been tortured by Jack Bauer at this point? Eskimo terrorists? The South Carolinan Liberation Organization? The man can find a way to get tortured at an orphanage.

Meanwhile, is there anyone that America wants to see bad things happen to more than Jon Voight? Is it depressing to be Jon Voight? He could be working alongside Sally Strothers and Jack Bauer, knitting shoes and digging wells for underprivileged children in Cambodia and America would still be like “I hope that sonuvabitch trips into a tiger.” What has Jon Voight ever done to you, other than look like “the man”? Jon Voight is not holding you down. Jon Voight might look like he wants to oppress you while swilling brandy and crude oil, but he’s probably not so bad a guy. What is it going to take to rehabilitate Jon Voight’s image? I’m thinking the only way America won’t hate him for what his character’s represent is if he gets a debilitating disease. He’s just doing his job! But I really hope Jack Bauer stabs him in the neck! Making little kids soldiers, damnit Jon Voight, when are you going to learn your lesson?

Read Full Post »