It took me until page 800 before Amy Vanderbilt finally explained to me how to arrange an audience with the Pope. You do it through some North American College in Rome. Eventually you receive a reply back (via courier) in Italian, which you, of course, speak. If you have a hard time discerning some detail, you shouldn’t hesitate to bring it to the manager of your hotel, who has undoubtedly dealt with this numerous times before.
You mean to tell me there were 800 pages worth of more important things to tell me about than that? Something is amiss.
I also learned today that unmarried women aren’t allowed unescorted in bars. Like, they’ll be thrown out. True story.
Addendum:
I forgot to mention, I have a word of the week. It’s courtesy of ESPN 2’s Sports Guy, even if he’s a gigantic corporate whore these days.
Eviscerate is a fantastic term to describe the total annihilation of someone. It’s a rich man’s replacement for the crude term “pink sock” championed by my team my freshman year. Many guys showed up to leagues that year with pink shoes – I, even I, thought that was far too crass. Now, if eviscerate could be represented symbolically somehow, not requiring a pink sock, I’d be OK with that.
Words 
What are you talking about?!
Yeah, what are you talking about?
clearly, only the hard hitters read that far. anyone less isn’t worthy of an audience with the pope. vanderbilt doesn’t ef around!
It’s right there between “The Paid Dancing Partner” and “Motoring Manners.” You just kneel down and take your blessing.
By the way, if you work as a journalist, the rule for the Pope (any dignitary for that manner) is to not say anything until they begin speaking. So you don’t really ask questions, they tell you what they want and you write it down intently.